It can be when someone:
- Puts you down, says mean things, yells, plays mind games
- Blames you for their behavior
- Threatens to leave or take the children away from you
- Isolates you from your friends and family
- Doesn’t let you have a job, controls money and bank accounts, refuses to pay bills or buy food
- Takes away phone or car keys
- Treats you like a servant, makes all decisions, makes you ask permission
- Watches everything you do, jealous, checks car mileage
- Hits, chokes, pushes, slaps, holds or ties you down
- Threatens or does hurt you, the children or the pets
- Destroys your property
- Forceful or unwanted sex or sex acts
- Won’t let you sleep
Plan ahead for a quick and safer escape
- Pack extra clothes and personal supplies for you and your children
- Set aside an extra set of car keys, money and copies of important papers for you and the children: Birth certificates, social security numbers, financial papers, federal tax returns, health documents and insurance policies
- Leave extra clothes, supplies and papers with someone you trust
- Try to leave the house everyday at a set time, i.e. get mail, and walk the dog. When you are ready to leave, it won’t look suspicious
- Plan where you will go, how you will get there. Rehearse your plan.
No one deserves to be hurt. It’s not your fault. Had enough apologies, promises or excuses?
Gather local resources to call and go for help of the following types:
- 24 hour help
- Crisis and support line
- Counseling and therapy
- Shelter for victims and children
- Court and legal help
- Intervention for batterers
- Children’s services
- Help with sexual assault
Search for county resources
- Police 911
- Child Abuse/Neglect
- Vulnerable Adult Abuse/Neglect
- Sexual Assault Hotline
- National Domestic Violence Helpline
- Hospital Social Work
Please re-read 1st paragraph. If any of these things are happening to you, it is your responsibility to your self and your children and pets (if possible) to get you all out safe and sound whether you are male or female, no matter what your relationship status.
Source: Beaumont Hospitals, Michigan
Last Days of Leo
The last days of Leo and I thought my heart would break,
I’d love to run away from you if I could stay awake.
Please don’t ring the phone again, middle of the night
Apologies so secret, they’re at their best polite.
Even if I tell you it’s ok, you know it’s not.
We’re stuck in this together; fruits here will surely rot.
To see another summer, I know I have to go,
We can’t live together through another winter’s woe.
by Anita Nelson
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